Demi and Ashton on Ridiculous Cleanse

There’s always been something that bugs me about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. I can’t say exactly what it is. The age difference doesn’t even matter to me. They just always seem to act like they’re so much better than everyone else and Demi’s always preaching about being “all-natural” and “organic” like if you’re not, you should be shot.

The newest all-natural thing they’re doing is going on the Master Cleanse. The cleanse that states that, for some ungodly reason, you need to eat only water with cayenne pepper, maple syrup, and lemon. I’m not sure why the two are doing this. Demi posted on her Twitter account about how hard the cleanse was, and Ashton did the same. Not only that, but Demi stresses very adamantly that the cleanse is about being healthy. Umm…has anyone seen Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher lately? They’re two very pretty people. They’re not obese, they’re not sickly-looking. So really, why do they need to starve themselves and eat (or rather drink), ridiculous combinations of foods? This comes from US Weekly via Celebitchy,

“The couple that deprives themselves together…?

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have gone on the super-strict Master Cleanse together, they announced on Twitter.

The eating plan — which Beyonce also used to slim down for Dreamgirls — features “meals” that consist of maple syrup, lemon water and cayenne pepper.

Moore, 47, swears she’s not doing it to lose weight. “This is about health!!!” she Twittered on Sunday.

She added shortly after, “2nd day of master cleanse and off to hike with hubby and the dogs. 2nd day better than the 1st!”

Still, she may not make it much longer. “Let you know if I make it to day 4,” she told one of her followers. 

Kutcher, 32, is having an even harder time. “9 hrs into the master cleanse. I want a steak, a beer, and a blow-pop. Hmmm this is gonna be rough,” he wrote Saturday.”

I don’t really care if Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher want to do stupid things to their bodies. But they have a lot of fans (such as the one Demi responded to) that will think it’s cool to go on this diet just because their favorite celebs do. And, according to Wiki and some experts it cites, this cleanse really should only be used for weight loss. And even then, weight will be regained once the cleansing is stopped. 

As for doing it for other “health” reasons – some say that the cleanse is also used to rid the body of toxins that it contains. But, the really natural way to do that is to let your own body rid itself of toxins. And that’s what our systems are for – to pretty much maintain themselves and take care of toxins on its own. That’s why, way back before the Master Cleanse ever came to be, people weren’t dropping dead because they were riddled with toxins. 

The whole entire thing is just so ridiculous to me. Doing ridiculous things to help your body with something that it doesn’t need any help with! And it just gives me more validation in thinking that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are idiots.

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski Get Married!

Well, Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher weren’t the only ones to exchange vows on Saturday – Emily Blunt and John Krasinski did too! After dating for a year and a half, Emily and John got married in a private ceremony in Italy. And other than that, we don’t really know that much. This comes from Celebrity Gossip,

“Making the lifelong commitment to one another, Emily Blunt and John Krasinski were married in Italy on Saturday (July 10).

The “Office” actor and his “Wolfman” actress bride tied the knot in front of friends and family in an intimate service at the Villa D’este in Como.

Krasinski’s rep tells Us magazine of the fete, “John and Emily were married on Saturday in a private ceremony.”

With few details available at the time, an insider tells, “It was an outdoor ceremony and absolutely beautiful.”

Among the guests were “Up In the Air” hunk George Clooney and his Italian model lady Elisabetta Canalis.”

Congratulations to Emily and John! I think they make a super cute couple!

Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher are Married!!!

I am so, so happy for this couple! Yesterday, at an exclusive resort in Georgia, two of my favorite stars in the entire world, Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher got married! It sounds like it was a good ol’ Southern wedding with classical music and a few of the couple’s favorite Bible verses. Carrie, of course, was dressed just like a princess in a designer Chantilly lace gown, and gaining access to the hotel was pretty much strictly forbidden. E! Online has all the details,

“No more cowboy casanovas for Carrie Underwood.

The Grammy-winning singer swapped vows Saturday evening with NHL player Michael Fisher in a lavish ceremony at the Ritz-Carlton Lodge, Reynolds Plantation, in Greensboro, Ga., E! News has confirmed.

More than 250 guests were in attendance, including country supercouple Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.

“We could not feel more blessed to have found each other and to have shared this day with our friends and family that mean so much to us!” the newlyweds said in a statement to People.

During the ceremony, which reportedly featured the couple’s favorite Bible verses and classical music, The 27-year-old blushing bride walked down the aisle in a Monique Lhuillier chantilly lace gown. Her bridesmaids donned dresses by the coveted designer as well.

Security was tight all over the property, which was closed off to anyone who wasn’t either employed by the hotel or instrumental in making the Underwood-Fisher nuptials happen.

Even the road leading into the hotel was closed to traffic Saturday, making it necessary for eager-beaver shutterbugs to shoot the ceremony from boats on Lake Oconee, which borders the hotel.

Speaking of privacy, the newlyweds were scheduled to spend their first night together as husband and wife in the Ritz’s 5,400-square-foot Presidential House.”

Carrie Underwood is one of my very favorite singers and Mike Fisher plays on my very favorite hockey team, the Ottawa Senators. I just have to say it again – I am so, so happy for this couple! A huge congratulations goes out to Mike and Carrie.

Angelina Jolie Continues Efforts to Make You Think She’s Cool and Aloof

Angelina Jolie has that new movie, Salt, coming out so you know that we’re going to be bombarded with crazy promotion and even crazier interviews from Angelina. One of the first ones we get is from MTV News, and she talks about her new tattoo that she got for her hubby, Brad Pitt. Or rather, she brings it up but then doesn’t talk about it. This, I’m sure, is all an effort to continue to make people think that she’s aloof and oh-so-cool. But really, it’s just Angelina trying to turn that air of mystery on her in the hopes that we all sit around and talk about what that tattoo could possibly be. Whatever. I don’t care, and I’d rather not know about any ink that’s anywhere on Angelina’s thigh. This, from Digital Spy,

“Angelina Jolie has revealed that she has a new tattoo on her inner thigh, which she got for Brad Pitt.

In an interview with MTV News, the Salt star however refused to say what the new ink mark could be.

She said: “Um, it’s for Brad. It is something for Brad.”

When asked what makes a relationship successful, she added: “I actually think it’s important to be completely honest, however difficult that may be. I’m bad at hiding secrets anyway.”

Yes, and we all know just how bad Angelina is at keeping secrets, aren’t we? So I guess that means that we’ll all know sooner or later just what that ink is for Braddy-Poo. I’m always grateful whenever Angelina has a new movie coming out. It also means more interviews and more stupid comments made by her. And that’s always good for a laugh.

More of Mel’s Mess

There’s been a lot of talk recently about the breakup of Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva. What at first seemed like a very amicable split has now blown up into a huge domestic violence situation, with a little bit of blackmail thrown in. Oksana promised us that we would “find out more” right after they broke up, and boy are we ever. First there was the recording where Mel threw some racial slurs around, and told Oksana that he hoped she got raped. Now, just as Oksana promised, even more is coming out and Mel has once again been caught on tape, saying and doing terrible things to Oksana, as well as their two-month old child. Celebrity Dirty Laundry has the scoop on what happened in that incident,

“A new tape recording reveals a teary Oksana asking 54-year-old actor Mel Gibson what he thinks he is doing hitting her while she is holding their two-month-old child in early January. According to RadarOnline.com, Oksana can be heard on the tape saying: “What kind of man is that who would hit a woman while she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face? What kind of man is that?”

The ‘Braveheart’ star answers: “You know what – you f***ing deserved it.” The allegations are the latest in a string of accusations by Oksana, who has also filed a restraining order against Mel.
Other recordings allegedly feature the two-time Oscar winner telling the Russian singer she looks like a “f***ing pig in heat”. Mel has also sought a court order to stop the recordings being publically released, and to prevent photographs which apparently show the extent of the injuries he caused Oksana – he is alleged to have given her two black eyes and broken her front teeth.”

But, things don’t end there. It seems that the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department has gotten wind of the allegations and is now making a formal investigation into the matter. Which means, that if everything goes as it should, Mel could be in a lot of trouble. This is what Radar has to say about the investigation,

“After RadarOnline.com revealed Mel Gibson told his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva she “f**cking deserved” to get hit, the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department has launched a domestic violence investigation.

In the new tape recording, a teary Grigorieva can be heard asking the 54-year-old actor what he thinks he is doing hitting her while she is holding their eight-month-old child Lucia.

The allegations stem from a January incident at the actor’s Malibu mansion.

“What kind of man is that who would hit a woman while she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face?” questions the Russian musician.

The Braveheart star answers: “You know what — you f***ing deserved it.”

Now the Sheriff’s Dept. has confirmed its investigators are “currently gathering information regarding the allegations.”

And if you thought that this was a closed case of domestic abuse, you might be wrong. It seems that some, namely TMZ, are suspicious of Oksana’s motives, because she used the tapes to blackmail Mel for cash some time ago. This is what they had to say about that,

“Our sources say Gibson has emails and other evidence Oksana “tried to extract money from Mel in return for the [explosive] tapes.” As TMZ has already reported, Oksana secretly recorded Gibson during several heated arguments back in February.

We’re told Sheriff’s investigators are concerned that Oksana had contact with civil lawyers and judges while she negotiated a visitation agreement with Mel over a 6-month period but never once contacted police. Oksana was represented by attorney Eric George, the son of California Supreme Court Justice Ronald George, to handle the visitation case. She went through 2 full days of mediation in May, conducted by two former judges, one of whom was a former federal prosecutor and negotiated a visitation agreement.

We’ve learned the agreement — signed by both Oksana and Mel — gave Mel full visitation rights and future joint legal custody of their daughter.

Last month, Oksana refused to give Mel his visitation rights and it was then that she made allegations of abuse for the first time.”

I don’t really understand what the visitation rights and joint custody have to do with the blackmail tapes. I would get that if there weren’t actual tapes, and it was some bogus story Oksana made up because she didn’t want their child seeing Mel. But there’s proof that these things happened so, I don’t blame her for not wanting her child in an environment that contains Mel Gibson. And as for trying to get money from him for the tapes – well, he’s an ass. And if she tried to make money off of him being an ass, well, so be it. It definitely doesn’t scream the makings of a good person, but I mean, he did make his own bed on that one.

Britney Spears’ Cosmo Questionnaire Answers

Britney Spears appears on the August cover of Cosmopolitan, and she also filled out a short questionnaire filled with random questions about being a mom, being a superstar, and well, just being Britney. I came across the questionnaire on Celebitchy, who doesn’t seem to think that the questions were actually answered by Britney, but in fact by her publicist. I however, disagree.

I do think that some of the answers sound a little rehearsed, but I also think that Britney has been in the biz long enough to know which answers are appropriate and will be well-received, and which are not. Let’s remember that she’s not crazy anymore, people. I also think that her answers show just what a well-balanced person she has turned back into, and that she’s not just this crazy pop princess, she’s also a real mom who has real issues with things like teaching your kids to use the potty. From Cosmo via Celebitchy,

“Multiple choice questions:

I’m dreading the moment when my sons ask me: how babies are made
If I had to wear one style of shoes for the rest of my life, I’d choose: flip-flops
Stage fright is something that: still bothers me
The one stage prop I wish I still had is: the flying pink SUV from my Do Somethin’ video
If a guy wants to make me laugh, all he has to do is: fall down
If my sons told me they wanted to be in the entertainment business, I’d: lock them in their rooms until they turned 30
The thought of turning 30 in a year and a half makes me: reflect on my life so far
I perform my best when: I’m amped
The TV show I’d most love to make a cameo on is: Gossip Girl.

Fill in the blanks:

Even though I’ve already accomplished so much, I’m driven to achieve more because: I genuinely love what I do and the company I keep is so much fun.
My preferred fashion style when I’m performing is: exciting, different and always stands out, but when I’m offstage, it’s: flattering yet comfortable
I feel most powerful when: I’m working out
I attribute my career’s longevity most to: hard work
Having people constantly taking my picture is: something I always knew would come with the job I chose
I’ve found that a great way to deal with nerves before a performance is to: move around
When I’m feeling down, I find that I’m always cheered up by: coffee & ice cream
The person whose opinion matters most to me is: my family
The song I sing to lull my boys to sleep is: always different
At this point in my life, what’s most important to me in a guy is: personality
The most difficult adjustment to motherhood I had to make was: teaching my boys potty training.
If an up-and-coming young performer asked me for advice, I’d tell her: life is short, have fun.
The most heroic (crossed out heroic and wrote horrific) thing I’ve ever done is: broken my knee.
The one thing about men and relationships I wish I’d known 10 years ago is: to say what you want. speak your mind!
I know it’s a little weird, but I think: it’s hard to cook
The best advice I ever got was: be yourself!”

There’s just something very Britney-sounding about this interview and I can’t believe that it’s not her that’s talking. I’m very happy to hear her talking again like a normal person, although I think she’s been doing so for quite awhile now. I also think that hearing her talk about things like how it’s hard to cook, and how it was a challenge teaching her boys potty-training, makes her seem much more real. I do think this is the real Britney talking, for the most part anyhow. I think that it sounds like just the right amount of excitement and glitz, mixed in with the right amount of the real Britney talking about flip flops and coffee. I do agree with Celebitchy on one thing though. The airbrushing job they did on Britney just looks ridiculous.

Samantha Ronson’s Confusing Quotes

God only knows why we’re still talking about Samantha Ronson. I thought we had kicked her to the curb when she did the same with Lindsay. But Samantha has recently given an interview with The Times magazine, because I guess they’re still interested in her. The interview is very confusing and shows just how dumb Sam Ronson really is.

She starts off the interview by talking about how much she still loves Lindsay as a human being, but then later goes on to say that being with her was more of a headache than anything else. Which I don’t doubt but, what are you really trying to say, Sam? Because if you have a point, I sure as hell can’t find it. And she also adds in a bit, that sounds super defensive, about how she was who she was before Lohan’s name ever came into it and that she was doing all the same stuff, just not having the paparazzi follow her around while she did it. Whatever. The interview comes from The Times via Celebrity Dirty Laundry,

“DJ Samantha Ronson – who was in an on-off 16-month relationship with Lindsay Lohan from the start of 2008 – insists she still has strong feelings for her former lover, despite the tumultuous end to their relationship. She said: “I love her as a human being. I’m not gonna sit here and negate everything we had. You know, I could have a thousand times countered s**t with facts. It’s just not for me. Although Samantha – the sister of producer Mark Ronson – still cares for Lindsay, she admits the highly-publicised romance caused her numerous problems because of the level of interes.

She added in an interview with The Times magazine: “To be honest, being with her was more of a headache than anything else. Everything I was doing I was already doing (before Lindsay). It just meant there were paparazzi pictures documenting it. It sucked, because I’m a pretty private person and I’d managed to stay under the radar for so long. But at the same time I’m not gonna not hang out with somebody that I care about because of that s**t.” Samantha, 32, also refutes suggestions she was a bad influence on Lindsay – who currently has to wear an alcohol-monitoring SCRAM bracelet as part of her probation for a driving under the influence (DUI) arrest dating back to 2007 – and is adamant she had a calming effect on her life.

The 32-year-old star – who was a passenger in the car when Lindsay, who later admitted to driving under the influence of cocaine, had the accident but wasn’t dating her at the time – said: “She was like a little kid as far as I was concerned. And then, when I met her, she was this sweet little cool girl. And we were friends for years before anything else. I feel like I was a great influence. Because as much as my life is in clubs and stuff, my personality isn’t. So we had every other time chilling. It wasn’t like I was out getting f***ed up every night.”

I do agree that Samantha had a very calming effect on Lindsay. Until the end, which was very bitter and saw some of Lindsay’s worst fits ever, Lindsay did seem somewhat normal, and very, very happy. But I don’t agree with the fact that Lindsay did nothing for Sam’s career. Would she really be giving an interview with The Times magazine if she was just another Hollywood DJ? I don’t think so. I’m also very confused about why she talks about how much she loves Lindsay as a human being, but then in the next breath also calls her a liar, which I understood was why she may have needed to “counter sh*t with facts.” 

It’s obvious that Sam is still very bitter about that relationship and she needs to let it go. The rest of us all have. This whole entire thing just sounds like the ramblings of a bitter ex to me.

Does Matt Bellamy Want to Marry Kate Hudson?

Kate Hudson has been dating Matt Bellamy for only a few months now, and already they’re talking marriage…or rather, one of them is. And, even though it’s Kate that often seems to fall head over heels quicker than you can say “smitten,” this time it’s Matt that’s buying diamond rings, meeting the parents, and talking about marriage. Or rather, talking about it by not talking about it. Whatever he’s trying to say, it’s clear that he really is head over heels for Kate. This comes from US Weekly,

“And over a glass of white wine at the Nordoff Robbins 02 Silver Clef Awards, Matt told us this wasn’t going to be just another showbiz fling. Talking for the first time about his new love, Matt grinned: “Things are going great at the moment.

“I am very happy.

“We had such a good time at Glastonbury. We just have fun together and are seeing how it goes. Kate is great. We have tried to keep things private so we haven’t told anyone how we met or any details like that. We are just doing our thing.”

Unlucky-in-love Kate has had a string of failed relationships with rockers.

But Matt, who bought the starlet a £7,000 diamond encrusted Theo Fennell ring during the fundraising auction, is clearly smitten with the Hollywood actress.

And he is gearing up for the dreaded meeting with his potential mother-in-law, Goldie Hawn – a rendezvous enough to terrify any rocker.

Matt, whose band won the main 02 Silver Clef Award at London’s Hilton Hotel, told us: “I haven’t met Goldie yet.

“We are meeting up next week. I’m quite nervous. You don’t want her reading daft stories about you online – it’s embarrassing when you meet someone’s family for the first time.

“It’s a little bit too soon to talk about weddings and stuff. Ask me again in a few months though. I’ll let you know how it went with Goldie – and then who knows?”

It’s no secret that Kate Hudson and her mom, Goldie Hawn are super tight so, I think Matt is right to think that it needs to go well with Goldie before he can start talking about getting super serious with Kate. But, even if all does go well, I think that even a few months in is a bit early to be talking about marriage. And, is Kate really looking to get married again? It’s hard to say. She does love being in love, and she does seem to like having that male companionship around. But, it’s almost like she enjoys dating and playing the field so much that it’s sort of hard to see her settling down with anyone, especially after just a few months of dating.

If any or all of this is true, I am genuinely happy for them. They do seem to be totally in love, and I’m always happy to see Kate so happy.

Melissa Etheridge Breaks up with Girlfriend, and She Bites Back

Things have not been great between Melissa Etheridge and her long-time girlfriend, Tammy Lynn Michaels for some time and on Friday, Melissa ended things for good. Because the two exchanged vows in a same-sex ceremony, official papers had to be filed to dissolve the union, and that’s just what Etheridge did on Friday. But, the move did not go unnoticed, particularly by Tammy. And apparently, it wasn’t something that she saw coming. She took almost immediately to her blog to talk about how hurt she was by the sudden move, and by how she believes it was a complete blind-side on Melissa’s part. From Contact Music,

“MELISSA ETHERIDGE’s former partner TAMMY LYNN MICHAELS has expressed her shock after the singer filed papers to formally dissolve their union on Friday (02Jul10), insisting she has been “blindsided” by the news.

The former couple exchanged vows in a same-sex ceremony in 2003 and became parents to twins, conceived via an anonymous sperm donor, before they separated in April (10).

The Come To My Window hitmaker filed papers to officially end the union this week (ends04Jul10) by lodging a Petition for Dissolution of Domestic Partnership in Los Angeles County Superior Court.

Michaels is adamant she was not informed about Etheridge’s plans to make their split official, taking to her official blog to blast the move.

In a post titled, ‘Blindsiding’, she writes, “Gentle waves / no noise for a while / or maybe gentle voices and / SMACK! / file for divorce! / even though we both promised / agreed / handshook / pinkyswore / no filing until after the tour / in the fall.

“Her broken promises / told to me by / headlines / I’m raising the kids / doing what I can / second set of yours.”

I kind of thought that Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels were having problems for some time so I don’t understand why she feels so blind-sided by it. I do feel badly for Tammy Lynn. She obviously was holding out hope that things would get better “in the fall” and was putting a lot of faith into the relationship. So I can see how much it would hurt to have that hope suddenly taken away.

But I still don’t think that going on your own blog and ranting about it is the way to go. If Tammy Lynn is upset that Melissa didn’t talk to her about the separation before doing it, I think Tammy Lynn should talk to Melissa about it before going and ranting to the entire world. I’m sure Melissa’s feeling quite blind-sided herself at the moment.

Carrie Prejean Has the Right to Marry, and She Did

I’m almost disgusted that Carrie Prejean got married this past weekend. The fact that she thinks she has the right to get married, yet is so quick to say that there are millions of people who shouldn’t have that same right, just makes me sick. And so the whole getting dressed up like a princess and having a huge, lavish affair is just kind of lost on me when it comes to her. But I digress.

This weekend, Carrie Prejean did in fact get married to NFL star, Kyle Boller. The weekend was on Friday and took place in San Diego. This comes from NY Daily News,

“Carrie Prejean is no longer playing the field.

The disgraced beauty queen wed NFL star Kyle Boller in a lavish 25-minute ceremony on Friday, EOnline.com reports.

The 23-year-old ex-Miss California and the Oakland Raiders quarterback exchanged vows at the Grand Del Mar hotel in San Diego.

Prejean wore a one-shoulder mermaid-style gown and was whisked away at the end of the ceremony with her 29-year-old groom in a White Rolls Royce Phantom.

The couple got engaged in February after meeting last July.”

I don’t have a problem with people of the opposite sex getting married even though same-sex marriages are still not legal. I don’t expect everyone to give up their basic rights. But, I don’t think that people who have the right to marry should denounce that same right for others. And so, I really can’t even be the tiniest bit happy for, or congratulate Carrie Prejean on her recent nuptials.

Mel Gibson Opens Mouth, Proves How Stupid He Is

And doesn’t that happen just about every time that Mel Gibson opens his mouth? This time, the rant that Mel went on not only offended African Americans, but women too. This guy’s such an idiot and I can’t believe that anyone in this day and age still has these kinds of views.

The rant comes apparently from ex-girlfriend’s, and baby mama, Oksana Grigorieva’s answering machine. Reportedly, th two had an argument and Mel called, irate, and left stupid racial slur, insults, and threats on Oksana’s voicemail. Because he doesn’t only want to be an ass, he wants there to be hard-hitting proof that he’s an ass. Seriously, why would any actor, especially one that’s been in the biz as long as Mel Gibson, leave any kind of proof that he really is this shameful excuse of a human being. The original report came from Radar Online, and this comes from Guardian,

“The Hollywood actor and director Mel Gibson is facing renewed criticism from African American leaders after he is alleged to have launched a racist and misogynist rant against his former partner.

The Los Angeles section of America’s largest anti-racist group, the NAACP, denounced Gibson for comments which were reported by the online gossip website Radar Online.

Leon Jinkins, president of the group in LA, told the TMZ website that an apology was not enough. “No amount of words will change his image as an out-of-date and out-of-control racist,” he said. And Jesse Jackson, the black political figurehead, also waded into the controversy, saying Gibson “needs help”.

Gibson himself has so far given no reaction to the report of his alleged diatribe. Radar Online said it had heard a 30-minute recording left on the voicemail of Oksana Grigorieva, Gibson’s former partner, with whom he has an eight-month-old child. During the message, according to the site, the film star makes bizarre threats against her and breaks several verbal taboos.

No other media outlet has yet been able to hear the tape, or confirm its authenticity. It is understood that the recording has been lodged with an LA court as part of a highly acrimonious custody dispute over access to the couple’s child.

The most incendiary comment involves a description of Grigorieva given over the phone. “You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.” Radar alleges that Gibson threatened: “I am going to come and burn the fucking house down.”

The acrimonious custody dispute between Gibson and Grigorieva saw lawyers for both parties in court in LA this week attempting to impose restraining orders on each other. Grigorieva’s team managed to prevent Gibson coming near her and their daughter Lucia. She said that he punched her in the face twice and knocked out two of her teeth.

Gibson’s lawyers countered by persuading the court to award him renewed access to the child. He also pressed to stop Grigorieva from disclosing certain information to the media, that is believed to include the voicemail tape. Grigorieva is trying to prove that Gibson is dangerous and should be kept away from the girl. The judge has warned both parties to keep all details of the proceedings private.”

When Mel and Oksana first broke up, it appeared to be an amicable split. But Oksana also promised us that there were “things that were going to come out,” and I guess now we’re seeing just a few of those things. I have no doubt that if the tapes are ever publicly released, that there will be full confirment that it is in fact Mel on those tapes, and that he’s saying exactly what everyone is saying he said. What an idiot!

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green are Married!

I have to say, when I first heard the news that Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green had gotten married in Hawaii recently, I was very happy. But only because it meant that maybe, this on-again/off-again nonsense they constantly had going on would come to a stop. But, I don’t know. I look at the pictures of them taking a leisurely stroll on their honeymoon and I can’t help but think that neither of them have ever looked better. Maybe this is the real deal after all? From MTV UK,

“A representative for Megan Fox has confirmed rumours that she has married her long-term boyfriend Brian Austin Green in Hawaii.

As we reported yesterday, the couple tied the knot in a small service at the Four Season’s Resort on the tropical island and now, a spokesperson for the actress has stated that she is indeed Mrs. Austin Green.

Fox’s rep told People.com: “Yes, they are married” confirming that the former Transformers star wed the Beverly Hills 90210 actor after recently announcing their engagement for the second time.

A source told Star magazine US: “They had a fairly large wedding, but there were clearly more security people than guests… ”

“They had to call in local security because the hotel security alone wouldn’t do. It was very hush hush. Everyone was sworn to secrecy. It seemed like a spur of the moment thing.”

An insider at the luxury resort added that Fox ‘was a handful’ when organising the nuptials, claiming: ”Megan’s so bossy. The way she was ordering [Brian] around. … I don’t see this one lasting.”

The wedding aide also revealed that the couple and their security allegedly ‘wore wigs’ to disguise themselves in ordeer to keep the ceremony a total secret.

Green’s 8-year old son, Kassius from a previous relationship was present at the ceremony which is thought to have taken place last Thursday.”

Why do you have to be so catty and say that because a person was bossy on her wedding day, the marriage likely isn’t going to last. I say wholeheartedly, congratulations, Megan and Brian! I think they look both look great, and I think they’ll have many, many years of happiness to look forward to!

Kate Gosselin Has Absolutely Hysterical Botched Botox Job

OMG, what a way to start a Sunday morning, with a good ol’ belly laugh on the behalf of Kate Gosselin, one of the biggest phonies I have ever seen. Just days after being asked what she thought about boob jobs, to which she replied, “Plastic surgery? It’s not for me, who has time?” or something else utterly useless, Kate has stepped out with a horrendous botched Botox job. And by the way, although I realize that Botox may not actually be considered by some to be actual plastic surgery, Kate still had that tummy tuck after pushing out eight kids. So Botox or not, she has already contradicted herself.

But this new look of hers is just too funny to pass up! Instead of looking younger, fresher, and firmer, Kate now truly looks like something out of a horror movie, instead of just acting like one. Even professional surgeons are commenting on Kate’s new look, and how it should serve as a guideline as a big “DON’T!” From Bump Shack,

““Twist Of Kate” star Kate Gosselin looks absolutely unrecognizable in recent pictures, which fueled rumors the mother-of-eight was a victim of a bad Botox job. Yep, Kate looks like one even bigger Botox-ed mess than Megan Fox at “Jonah Hex” premiere.

Several plastic surgeons blast Kate’s surgeon for a terrible botox job. One even said Kate’s new face gives her a creepy funny Jack Nicholson look. Here is what they had to say:

“She looked much better in the earlier photo: great hair, nice smile and a normal brow position,” says Dr. Michael Olding, the chief of The George Washington University’s division of plastic surgery. “She has the typical appearance of Dysport or Botox poorly placed in the space between the brows where frown lines occur. (…) the lateral part of her brow is elevated in an abnormally high position, which my patients refer to as McDonald’s arches!”

Explains NYC-based Dr. Steven Pearlman, “The center of her eyebrows are dropped and spread, which can happen from Botox treatment of the forehead frown lines.”

ScientificSkin owner Dr. Kenneth Beer said: “This is a bad injection technique with poor placement. The injections were done in a cookbook pattern with no consideration for her particular anatomy. Her outer brow is too peaked, which gives her a devilish appearance.”

Can Kate fix this mess? Kate’s botched Botox can be corrected by even more Botox injection and she takes the risk to be permanently disfigured or she can wait “a few months for the Botox effects to subside.” LOL. Poor Kate!”

Maybe her new show should be called Twist of Face rather than Twist of Kate.

I Guess Amy Winehouse and Blake Didn’t Remarry After All

I’m so confused. But then again, whenever Amy Winehouse’s name is mentioned, I’m usually engulfed in a cloud of chaos and confusion anyway. Last I heard, Amy was getting ready to remarry Blake Fielder-Civil, the two were happy happy, and to hell with whatever her family had to say about it. But, I guess that’s not actually the case as Amy has actually gotten herself a new boy toy. But that doesn’t mean that she’s stopped thinking about Blake, nor does it mean that she doesn’t want him back. This latest report comes from Digital Spy,

“Amy Winehouse is feeling torn between new lover Reg Traviss and ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil, a report has claimed.

The singer’s dilemma began after Fielder-Civil expressed his heartbreak over their split in a series of emotional phone calls, according to the Daily Star.

A source told the newspaper: “Blake is driving Amy mad by constantly ringing her. He’s desperate to get her back and keeps saying, ‘How could you do this to me? We’re soulmates. I love you’.

“Amy doesn’t know what to do as she’ll always love Blake. But her new boyfriend has been given the thumbs-up from her family and is keeping her on the straight and narrow.”

The insider added: “It will definitely take more than Reg for Amy to forget about Blake. He’s in her bones. She feels torn between her new clean-living boyfriend, who’s been a great influence on her life, and Blake, her true love and party friend. Who knows which way she’ll turn?”

Winehouse started dating Traviss earlier this year shortly after her latest split from Fielder-Civil.”

No, dating someone just because they make your parents happy doesn’t always seem to work out. Especially when her ex-husband is still running through her veins just like the crack that they used to smoke together. I don’t know what Amy’s going to do about her love life, and honestly, I don’t really care. What I do know however, is that when you’re most famous for who you’re dating or married to, your career is pretty much over.

Jake Pavelka is an Idiot

I don’t think I’ve ever hated any Bachelor quite as much as I hate Jake Pavelka. The guy is obviously a fame whore, and I don’t think he really cared who he picked, as long as it kept him on TV for just a little while longer. But now apparently, Jakey-pooh needs some closure, and wants to give America a chance to see how “real” his relationship with Vienna Girardi by showing up on The Bachelorette on July 5. I’m also not watching that show this season so I have no idea why bringing a freshly-broken-up-Bachelor-couple is supposed to give hope to all those potential men, and Ali, but I’m sure Jake’s just happy that he’s going to be in the spotlight once again. The news comes from US,

“Fresh off their dramatic split, Jake and Vienna will meet again — in less than two weeks.

Jake Pavelka tells Extra that he’ll reunite with Vienna Girardi on the July 5 episode of The Bachelorette.

“Hopefully, it’s gonna be some closure for me,” Pavelka, 32, says of their televised meeting, declining to go into specifics. “America was there and stood with at the birth of our relationship, and I think I owe it to them an to myself and Vienna and let everybody be there at the end of it. That everybody understands it was real. ”

Indeed, the new issue of Us Weekly reports that, despite growing tensions in their relationship, Pavelka was blindsided by Girardi’s recent fling with Greek star Gregory Michael.

“He has no tolerance for infidelity,” a source tells Us Weekly of Pavelka, who found out the sad news Monday. (Girardi denied the allegations via Twitter).

Pavelka tells Extra “I don’t regret” giving Girardi the final rose on The Bachelor several months ago. “I regret what is happening right now. But I don’t regret the decision that I made. I made the best decision on The Bachelor.”

I’m trying really, really hard to understand this, but I just can’t. Going on television to prove that something is real? That just doesn’t make any sense to me. Although I guess in Jake’s case, it’s not real unless it is on TV. And what happened to all that privacy the two of them wanted right after they broke up? They’re okay with giving that up now and going on national television two weeks after their split?

I think if anything, all this does is prove how contrived, ridiculous, and pathetic The Bachelor is. And I really hope that people are going to stop putting Jake on television. If he really wants to become a star, he should go on auditions and try to make his name the same way other celebrities do. Of course, he’s probably tried that route and found out he couldn’t act so he’s tried to become famous by just being Jake. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s going to last too much longer for him either.

James Van Der Beek is Having a Baby!

Whenever I see James Van Der Beek, I can’t help but think of Dawson Leery. And I also can’t help but smile. There’s just something about that face, it’s so cute you just want to pinch his cheeks! But, it’s still weird for me in a way because I really hated Dawson Leery. Anyway, this story is neither about how cute I think James Van Der Beek, nor is it about Dawson’s Creek. But, it is about James Van Der Beek, and the baby he’s about to have!

I didn’t even know that James was dating anyone, let alone that she was pregnant. (Hmm…maybe it’s time to pick up some new work there, James.) But Kimberly Brook, said girlfriend, is pregnant indeed and she is very pregnant! Not only is there a huge bump pic, but there’s also an interview in which James goes on about the pregnancy, which is kinda funny. And let’s just say it, too freakin cute! From Celebrity Babies,

“It’s going to be a pink-and-white-themed baby shower for James Van Der Beek’s pregnant girlfriend Kimberly Brook.

“We’re so excited to announce we are expecting a girl!” Brook told PEOPLE exclusively at Tuesday’s Jaguar and TyKu-sponsored summer music night at h.wood nightclub in Hollywood.

“We are thinking and taking suggestions for names, but we have no idea [what to call her] right now,” she adds of their baby, due this fall.

However, prepping for parenthood hasn’t been all fun and games for the happy couple.

“Women have mood swings when they’re pregnant, and I’m not immune to them,” Brook admits.

“I was literally at the edge of a bed once, telling James, ‘You don’t get me!’”

Van Der Beek, 33, says he saw the shifts in personality coming.

“When the mood swings happened, they were so textbook, I almost had to laugh,” he says. “The hard part was stifling the laughter, like, ‘Oh, my god, I can’t believe this is happening — this is just like the book said.’ She’s so amazing, I kind of thought she’d be immune to them.”

One thing that’s been easy for the soon-to-be-mommy? Abstaining from alcohol.

“Staying away from it hasn’t been a challenge at all,” Brook says. “It’s been kind of nice. I mean, this is L.A. — we’ve all had a little too much of that!”

And may I just say that Kimberly is quite the little hottie herself? Congratulations to James and Kimberly!

Jake and Vienna: Splitsville!

Seriously, if I were to ever appear on The Bachelor, and I wouldn’t be because I think it’s an embarrassment to women, I’d want to be one of the women that wasn’t chosen. Because two people walking away from the show seeming to be “happy and in love”, eventually end up broken-hearted and lonely a few months later. Although, I think with this latest case, no one is either broken-hearted or lonely. And that’s the case of Jake and Vienna.

Jake Pavelka and his former fiance, Vienna Girardi, have broken up, and there are conflicting reports as to who broke up with who and why. While some are saying that Jake broke up with Vienna, others are saying that it was Vienna who broke up with Jake, and that she actually moved her stuff out of the couple’s home on Saturday, before they made the announcement. Whoever did the official breaking up though, they’re over now and this is what US had to say about it,

“Bachelor Jake Pavelka and fiancee Vienna Girardi have called it quits, a rep for the couple tells UsMagazine.com.

“Jake and Vienna have split and appreciate the respect for their privacy at this time,” the rep tells Us.

Pavelka, 32, surprised fans on The Bachelor last season when he chose Girardi , 24, who often clashed with the other women, over contestant Tenley Molzahn. On the finale, he claimed he was in love with both Molzahn and Girardi, but ended up popping the question to Girardi because he felt more of a spark with her.

Shortly after his decision, he told Ellen DeGeneres he was also impressed by Girardi’s “values and spirituality and different things like that … I just realized, ‘Wow, we really line up.’”

“We make each other glow inside and out,” Girardi, an ex-Hooters waitress, also gushed to Extra.

The news comes as a surprise as the two seemed tighter than ever: During Pavelka’s recent stint on Dancing With the Stars, Girardi was often in the audience rooting him on.

“Chelsie [Hightower, his partner] has been great,” he told Us of his final dance on the show’s finale. “I really enjoyed it, but dancing with my beautiful fiancee really was special.”

Earlier this month, they even took a trip to Disneyland, where Pavelka said he would be happy to wed Girardi in the “land of happies!”

Yeah, a real surprise. Because no one on The Bachelor ever breaks up. I also love that Jake and Vienna are “asking for their privacy at this time.” Okay, you only got together in front of the entire world to see and then went on a dancing show to further your career, but you don’t want people talking about you. Please, this is all just more publicity that both Jake and Vienna saw coming when they first got together. They’re both fame whores and nothing about this was ever about love.

Jennifer Garner is Most Likely Pregnant with Third Baby

It was just days ago that Jennifer Garner was spotted out and about, with what could have been a baby bump in disguise. As she kept blogs and magazines talking about whether or not it was a baggy shirt or indeed, a bump in hiding, she has since been spotted out with what clearly looks like a baby well on it’s way. X 17 Online has some of someone who certainly appears to be Jennifer Garner, and that definitely show a bloomin bump under those sweats. You can check those out here.

Drunken Stepfather however, has these pics of Jen doing her thing, with what is a somewhat lesser bump but still, very clearly a bump. Her reps have apparently, neither confirmed or denied a third pregnancy for Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck but it’s looking as though Garner is definitely pregnant indeed. Thanks to Drunken Stepfather and X17 Online for the pics.

Cutie Watch: Matt McConaughey, Camila, and Vida

It’s been a week of the stars spending time with those that are closest to them, their families! For our next Cutie Watch, we have Matt McConaughey, Camila Alves, and little Vida stepping out to enjoy all that New York City has to offer. It’s hard to tell, but I think those are deconstructed jeans that Vida is wearing and I just think they are way too adorable! I could probably do without the bandanna wrapped around her head but I do think that’s much better than wearing kitty heels and carrying around an $800 purse like Suri Cruise. Kids should be kids, and that includes their wardrobe. But this is another family that I love so much. They seem to stay relatively under the radar, even though Matt’s uber-famous and they just seem like genuine, real people.

Cutie Watch: Nicole and Sunday

Nicole Kidman flew back to, Australia, after being in the States to attend the CMT Awards with her husband, Keith Urban. Both Nicole and Sunday both looked very happy as they arrived at Sydney International on Tuesday morning. We don’t see Sunday nearly as much as we would like to, or as much as I would like to anyways. But man, is she ever getting big! And cute too! I’m just so in love with this whole entire family. And, I’m pretty sure that Nicole Kidman is the only woman alive who can take a 15-hour plus flight and still step off the plane looking so fabulous. I don’t care if it was a private jet, that is a long ride and I think anyone would look weary after taking it. Anyone that is, except for Nicole Kidman, apparently.