Well That Was Quick

I have to say, I thought that we’d be hearing Paris gush about how completely in  love she is with her new beau, Cristiano Ronaldo, before we heard talk of a breakup. That is, after all, true Paris fashion. And although her past relationships have been shorter than Chris Brown’s temper, this one wins the prize! One week after the two hooked up at MyHouse, which was less than 24 hours after her breakup from Doug Reinhardt, the soccer star and the princess have broken up. Aw, too bad. The two have apparently decided that they should call a two-night stand for what it is and move on with their lives. But that doesn’t mean that they’re not going to stop to do some finger-pointing first.

Aw, it’s a classic case of ‘he-said, she-said.’ Paris’ camp of course, has resorted to name calling and making it seem as though it’s just yet another of the heiress’ conquests. Meanwhile Ronaldo’s talking about how he’s going to make the most of his summer and conflicting schedules and blah, blah, blah. At least he took the high road. From Contact Music,

“Paris Hilton dumped Cristiano Ronaldo for being a “sissy”.

The hotel heiress – who was spotted canoodling with the soccer star shortly after splitting from Doug Reinhardt – reportedly called off their romance after deciding Cristiano was too in touch with his feminine side.

A source told the National Enquirer magazine: “She likes her guys to be macho – and as far as she’s concerned Ronaldo turned out to be a real sissy.

“She likes her men rugged, it’s as simple as that. She thought her friends would laugh at her if she dated a guy who walks around with flowers in her hair.”

Paris, 28, was also concerned Cristiano, 24, was overwhelmed by the amount of attention she received during the two evenings they spent together.

The source said: “He was just too uptight for her to find attractive. In the end, Paris realised their relationship simply wasn’t clicking. Paris got to know him and realised he’s not nearly hot enough.”

Earlier this month, Paris and Cristiano spent hours “swapping spit” at Hollywood nightspot MyHouse before driving to her sister Nicky Hilton’s nearby home in West Hollywood at 3am.

A grinning Cristiano was photographed leaving the mansion at 5am. He and Paris met up for a second time less than 24 hours later.

Earlier this week, Cristiano claimed he put an end to their short-lived fling because he was too busy to spend time with Paris.

He said: “She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. She lives thousands of miles away and is busy, and I am busy in Madrid so I am not sure if we will be able to see each other. I am just making the most of the short summer I get.”

I can’t even believe that ‘Paris got to know him and realized he wasn’t nearly hot enough.’ Not only can I not believe she would say something so stupid because hours of allowing him to suck on her neck, she couldn’t shut up about how incredibly hot he was and how awesome it was to have panty shots taken with such an enormous sex symbol. Okay, I added that last bit. But, I also didn’t realize that getting to know someone required determining just how truly hot they are. Wonder who she’ll be hooking up with tonight. I hope she turns the dimmer up to full-blast so she can take a good look and truly get to know them before she has another Ronaldo/panty shot incident.

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