Scarlett Johansson & Ryan Reynolds Officially Engaged!


…Despite the fact that Ryan Reynolds wears what seem to be women’s jeans, and is a tad on the femme side. Also, the majority of the Internet population was unaware that the two were even dating. I was not one of the majority, however, being the celebrity omniscient type. Go me. From The Evil Beet:

“It’s official!

Scarlett’s rep has confirmed the engagement, saying that “they’re both thrilled.”

Scarlett’s expected to debut her ring tonight, at the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala in New York. We’ll have the pics as soon as they exist, of course.

Ryan was, you’ll recall, previously engaged to Alanis Morissette, who I certainly hope will be writing some sort of angsty ditty about this bullshit. I hope it’s called “I’ve Released Seven Goddamn Albums and Not a Single One of Them Has Contained a Fuckingscarletryan918.jpg Tom Waits Cover, You Pretentious Little Bitch.”

You know what’s really weird? Even though they’ve been dating for a year, there are no pictures of the two of them together. I checked three photo services, and couldn’t find a single one. Strange indeed.”

There actually are a few photos floating around of Scarlett and Ryan, though they’re not very good ones. And I think I could probably agree with the opinion of ScarJo‘s talent for song being somewhere around the bottom end of a scale from one to ten. Tom Waits should also never be covered; not by anyone, ever, ever, ever. This couple is destined for divorce, I’m afraid. Scarlett is cute and all, but ditsy, and there’s no way Ryan can possibly be straight.

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1 comment so far ↓

#1 imright_yourenot on 08.11.08 at 10:23 am

Oh wow! She looks like an ugly monkey (or an Olsen twin) and he looks like a homeless guy.

Scarlet’s kind of a dumb, ditzy and pretentious blond. I say dumb because man have I heard her say the stupidest things when cought off guard with a question. Wow…I mean wow.

PS: What the hell do people see in Scarlet (talking about looks)? Yeah, she’s got big boobs (which isn’t exactly a good thing, since she’s only 20-something and they’re ALREADY saggy as hell and she needs to tape them together and use extra push-up bras for them to look decent). But I don’t see any other freaking thing in her that’s attractive. Her body looks short, stubby & super average;& she has a common dumb country-girl face to match.

PS: Scarlet has a surprisingly bad sounding voice :S You know? Where you expect it to be bad, but then it turns out to be even worse than you thought? Yeah…horrible.

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