Jessica Alba Just Loves Being Pregnant!

jessica-alba-dress-tits.jpgAnd why shouldn’t she? After all, pregnancy is what’s saving her relationship with Cash Warren. If I were Cash, I’d definitely be driving Jessica‘s big pregnant ass up to the clinic to get a paternity test. Hopefully not on the same day the Spears‘ made the appointment, or else he could be in line behind a lot of white trash, for a very long time. From People:

“With fiancé Cash Warren by her side, Jessica Alba can’t help gushing about her impending baby joy.

“It’s awesome,” she told PEOPLE Thursday in L.A. at Glamour magazine’s kickoff for V-Day’s 10th Anniversary. “It’s the best time ever. I have two movies coming out, a baby, a fiancé – everything.”

The 26-year-old actress, who’s due in early spring or late summer, said the pregnancy has been smooth so far. But, she admitted, “I’m more tired, more hungry than normal.”

Alba – who also recently announced her engagement to longtime boyfriend Warren, 28, the baby’s father – also said she’s enjoying a rare break from acting.

“I don’t know if anyone wants me in their movies [when I’m] six months pregnant,” she joked. “I’ll get the fire and I’ll want to work again, but right now it’s a time to relax and sit back.”

For now, the actress is focused on a more personal project: “I bought a new house a couple weeks ago. I’m in nesting phase.”

Later, Alba joked about her growing baby bump as she performed “My Short Skirt,” a scene from Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues.

“I hope [my dress] won’t pop while I’m up here,” she said. “And if it does, you’re all women, and I think you’ll understand it. [When you’re pregnant], your breasts are engorged and your stomach is getting bigger. . . . And the ass, too, that’s getting bigger by the second!””

Has everyone completely forgotten Jessica Alba‘s little herpes exploit? Or the fact that she did Cash Warren completely dirty, by not even breaking up with him to his face? Wake up, people. Jessica Alba more than likely, got knocked up by a roadie, and probably just needed someone to play daddy. Besides, what kind of freak enjoys the first trimester of pregnancy? Someone needs to stop feeding Hollywood Pregnancy Barbie so much lithium.

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